The
experience of life is a play between tensions, between the demands on our time
and attention that comes to us in greater and lesser degrees. Throughout our
days and weeks, our months and years.
The
tensions we experience are like the strings of a guitar or a piano, or the skin
of a drum, the tension in them must be just-right
or there is discord, when the tension in our lives is right, then we are balanced and we are in tune.
The
tension exists between competing aims, objectives, ambitions, needs.
There
is tension between our desires for ourselves and our responsibilities to others.
There
is tension at work, and also at play.
There
is tension in all of our relationships, in our hopes for ourselves and in our
hopes for each other, in the way we communicate; whether we are affable or
apathetic, talkative or silent, argumentative or agreeable, there is always tension.
At
times, when the tension in our lives is slack, we experience it as an absence,
as a lack.
We
must be sensitive to the tension in our lives, like a sailor reading the wind
in the sail, tacking left then tacking right, navigating the headwinds to cross
the space between where we are and where we want to be.
We
must train to be on the mark, we must practice for perfection.
Occasional
adversity is good, the tension strengthens us, even in our closest relationships,
even with our friends and partners, or our employers and coworkers.
Like
the tension in our bodies when we stretch, or lift weights, tension makes us
stronger, more nimble, it gets us in shape.
Conflict,
when coupled with the genuine desire for its resolution, helps us to step
outside of ourselves and teaches us to take another person’s perspective into
consideration.
We
grow in this way.
We
develop empathy in this way, by listening we develop a sensitivity to the
tensions in another person’s life, to the rhythm of their narrative to its
music, by hearkening to their desires and to their needs we come to understand
our own, better.
We
are each of us a mirror of the other.
Controversy
promotes reflection, it engenders critical thinking and the analytics of self-reflection.
An
argument, when it is pursued to its natural end, when disentangled from the ego
and the tension of competition, if the argument adheres to the rules of logic, discourse
and polity, if it follows those forms the argument will unite individuals
rather than drive them apart.
Even
so…conflict, while potentially beneficial, is not wholly desirable.
Nevertheless,
it is always better to dispute with someone when we think that they are in
error, then to allow them to wander in error when a word or two might spare
them.
Indifference
will not resolve anything, neither will it draw anyone into a healthy state of tension,
between the way we see the world, and the way the world actually is.
Be
mindful, if we enter into disputation honestly, comport ourselves with decency,
we may find that we are relieved of our own errors.
Prepare
for this, be ready for it, we must be willing to receive correction at any time.
It may be uncomfortable, even distressing, but it is liberating in the end.
When
tension and adversity bring about pain, this is a true test of a person’s
courage.
It
does not matter if the pain is physical, emotional or intellectual, even
spiritual.
A
person must bear within themselves a willingness to rise above the challenges
they face, a willing heart is a peaceful heart.
Open
it.
We
are often confronted with challenges that we did not choose for ourselves,
would not have chosen if we had a say.
These
are the dynamics of livings, se la vie, such
is the nature of life.
Our
willingness to accept and meet those challenges is what allows us to remain in
control even when the anguish is great.
Faith
sustains hope, and being sustained, hope gives birth to love.
Love
endures all things.
The
courageous heart is the union of these three; it is their flower.
This
is the essence of courage.
A
courageous spirit bears fruit on every branch of a person’s life, informing all
of their relationships, touching them with providence.
Courage
has a magnetism, amplifying all of a person’s best traits, drawing the courage
of others to itself, magnifying their strength and power as well, while at the
same time repelling the traits that weaken us; fear and doubt, envy and
malaise.
Be
courageous, master the tensions that bind us, resolve conflict and overcome
adversity.
