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Thursday, June 14, 2018

Emergence 3.0 - Section Four, Kathy; Part Twenty-two, Childhood; Chapter Four, Knowledge


Emergence 3.0
A Novel – One Page Per Day
Day 165, Thursday
June 14th, 2018

Chapter Four: Knowledge

Anything that was new was surreal to Kathy. The more unique the event, the more fascinated she was by it.

She was virtually incapable of being surprised, but it did happen from time to time, and when it did she was pleased, even overjoyed.

For her to witness something unprecedented was like watching a movie in a blurry, off-axis context, while the voices inside her attempted to shape her understanding of the event by providing context, offering comparisons, and suggesting similes.

Even things that were tragic and horrible, if they were unexpected and “one of kind” gave her something that she was missing, and she would observe those moments with a morbid, self-satisfying curiosity.

Searching out the new was like trying to grasp a handful of water, or sand.

The thing or the moment she would reach for would slip between her fingers, before she could hold it, for any length of time.

Searching for a new experience, would cause her mind to construct in advance, ideas of what she would find, and the closer she got to her goal, the closer her image of what she looking for, became an image of expectation, and assumed the character of what she would discover.

 In that game she was always several steps ahead of herself.

Trying to find what was new in other people was the worst, because she could sense them approaching, she could read their minds, she could become one with their thoughts, and once she knew them she could commune with the spirits of their dead. If she wanted, she could learn everything there was to know about them.

Kathy had to practice mindfulness at every moment, simply to keep her grounded and in the present. Learning this was the ultimate discipline, and it was the key to her sanity. She exercised her powerful mind to create buffers between herself and the world. 

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