Emergence 3.0
A Novel – In
One Page Per Day
Day 177, Tuesday
June 26th,
2018
Chapter Two: Doubt
As a child Kathy was composed, especially around
strangers, in public, in social settings. She carried herself with confidence
and intentionality.
Kathy always acted with poise and purpose. This unnerved
her parents when she was a small child. As she grew older they came to rely on
it.
There was not a person who observed her in these settings
that did not mark her affect as unusual. Most people were delighted in the
strange unusually confident child. A few, the more observant, they were
disturbed by it.
Kathy was beset by fears, not just for herself, but for
her parents as well. The poise that she exuded was just a mask. She could keep
it up for hours, even days if needed, but it was a ploy to hide the raging
doubt inside of her.
As she matured, when in public, she became paralyzed by
insecurity, she would freeze, become silent, and withdraw into herself.
Am I insane, she thought, who am I, am I alone,
why am I alone, how can it be that there is no-one else like me anywhere in the world?
The answers she gleaned shook her to the core. They
confirmed for her that she was alone.
There had never been another like her.
She searched her ancestral memories for evidence of the
contrary, but she could find nothing, the voices grew silent.
She searched the cynergenic field for someone who could
help her, and again there was nothing, or next to nothing.
There was only a vague impression of a teacher, a priest,
a shaman, a person who had guided her ancestors into the distant past, but they
were not present to her now.
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