A Novel – In One Page Per Day
Day 179, Thursday
June 28th, 2018
Chapter Four: Rage
Kathy burned with hatred. She was consumed by a hatred for the world, by self-loathing, and by the intrusive voices coming to her from the nous-sphere.
She did not even find relief in the comfort of her memories. The only thing she encountered there was the impetus for her to be strong, to fulfill her duties, to remain calm.
Kathy did not want to be calm, she did not want to be strong.
Her contempt for everyone she came in contact with lit a fire deep in her belly. There was no talking it away.
She felt like an alien, she began to refer to other people as “the humans,” as if she were not one of them. She focused on every little bit of difference between her and the people she met. She allowed the power of her mind, her intellect, her knowledge to roll over people like a thresher, cutting them to pieces.
There was no therapeutic approach to help her mitigate those feelings.
She felt guilty.
In order to cope, she turned the heat and violence of her rage inward, focusing all of that energy on herself.
It gave her no relief.
She isolated herself. She took refuge in music, in movies, in books. She spurned the reflexive desire to augment her experiences consuming media, with a consultation of the voices within her. She did not go to them for insight or discovery. She allowed her media habits to be filled only with the most contemporary materials.
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